Halloween will be here in less than a week so that means people should be on the lookout for ghosts, goblins and zombies. A recent study has identified the best malls to go to in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
The findings, pulled together by JeffBet, scored each mall based on their demand, infection risk, shelter suitability, food provisions, weapon access, medicine access, mental stimulation, and chance of rescue, in the event of a “The Last of Us” scale infection.
HBO’s “The Last of Us” may have drawn to a close, but many of us were left wondering whether we could survive a zombie apocalypse, and what our plan would be.
The research assigned major shopping malls a survival score out of 10, based on how they compare across eight key metrics – including infection risk, weapons, and demand.
The ideal mall to either be stranded in or to run to in the event of an outbreak is Millcreek Mall in Erie, Pennsylvania, with a survival score of 7.7 out of 10. Millcreek Mall scored well across all eight factors, but came out particularly high for infection risk, access to medicine and chance of rescue.
But how to local malls stack up? Two malls, Clarion and Cranberry, have very different results. The Clarion Mall ranks highly. Based on the JeffBet ranking system, Clarion has a high demand meaning there is a constant stream of people in the mall. JeffBet says it is a sure bet some of these people will already by infected!
With major medical facilities behind and across the street from the mall, Clarion also ranks high infection risk control. There is an in-store pharmacy in the WalMart but supplied will be limited. It’s a sure bet cosmetics will run out fast.
There is a great amount of shelter space in the mall provided you can bar the doors and keep the flesh eaters outside! In-store sleeping bags, pillows and blankets will go fast so it is best to bring your own. The benches in the mall will be grabbed up first and chairs will be pushed together for makeshift beds,
With a WalMart next door, restaurants nearby and an Aldi’s nearby could supply food at least for a limited basis. That depends, of course, on how many people seek safety into the mall. It is recommended food be stockpiled and used communally. No midnight snacking!
The Clarion Mall offers a chance of rescue. It helps that Interstate 80 runs nearby and there is a heli-port at the Clarion Hospital. JeffBet says that any rescue would be determined by each mall’s infection risk, which would deter army forces from infiltrating the structure.
JeffBet says mental stimulation was weighted as the least important factor as it’s less of a necessity. That relates to the number of leisure activities available within each mall to pass the time, such as ten-pin bowling, water parks and mini golf courses. In that area Clarion Mall fails unless board games are considered. It is a given that electronic games will be out of commission. Sorry gamers.
The Clarion Mall would offer a great chance for survival when the zombies come.
So how does the Cranberry Mall fair. The mall is largely empty but a new developer is looking into reviving the mall, hopefully before the apocalypse.
Currently there are no limited food supplies at the mall so food would be in short supply. Nor are there any medical facilities for general use at the mall. A hospital sits just down the road but those several miles could be critical.
This is still Western Pennsylvania and guns would be available. Venango County residents applied for 2,300 concealed carry permits in 2021 and hunting rifles would be a comfort. There are no gun shops close to the mall so bring the ammo.
The Cranberry Mall does have ample space but offers only one place to get bedding. Ollie’s will probably have special apocalypse specials on blankets and pillows.
Escape from the Cranberry Mall would be dicey. U.S. Route 322 offers an escape route but the nearest heliport is at the hospital.
The Cranberry Mall probably would not be the best place to go when the zombies come but Venango County residents shouldn’t despair. There is a WalMart across the road and food stores nearby. The only problem is that the stores are not connected making a common defense difficult.
The Cranberry Mall would not offer the best chance for survival at this time.
Two Pennsylvania malls rank as the best hideouts for a zombie apocalypse. Millcreek Mall in Erie topped the list and King of Prussia Mall, which placed third. If you are not in one of those areas remember that local malls can also be a safe haven.